37: Alana Massey: Sexting

Privacy! Boners! Feelings!

THIS is a very special episode of YAPIT, in which we investigate the subject of Tina’s new book: Sexting: The grown-ups Guide of Sex Tips to Getting Dirty Digitally. Tina wanted to invite someone with fresh, smart, refreshing ideas about naked selfie pride, choosing your own SMS adventure, and the ethics of digital privacy. After reading Alana Massey’s “feeling journalism” about online dating and technological intimacy, Tina asked Alana to be on the show; whereupon, Alana proclaimed sexting to be her highest art form!


“You’re not sexting with my butt, you’re sexting with me” / "You are starring in my personalized smut" / Cyber-sex / A/S/L / “I just took a sexy picture of myself; can I send it to you?” / The Gift Dispatch Sext / “Just because you’re on your phone doesn’t mean you can phone it in.” / The power to turn someone on even if you’re not in the same room / Teleportation of arousal / Stopping someone in their tracks / Reciprocity, caution, vulnerability / Frexting / "That dick is hard because I asked to see it. / Stripper promo pictures on the tops of cabs / "If someone has a naked picture of me, I should be in charge of it" / "If the most terrifying and controversial thing that someone can conjure up about me is that I’m naked under my clothes, then they’ve lost" / "It says something more about them that they would use such a thing for harm instead of pleasure" / Digital Millennium Copyright Act / Weaponizing something that used to be about arousal and intimacy / Kim Kardashian narcissism / “How dare you gaze at yourself the way we’re supposed to” / Selfie as diary / Selfie as feedback loop / The camera as the third in the threesome / Sexting with me instead of at me / Sex robots as surrogates instead of replacements / Ex Machina / "Is it an ingredient to a feminist conversation?"

ALANA MASSEY is a writer covering the convergence of identity, culture, relationships, and technology at publications like New York Magazine, The Atlantic, NPR, The Guardian, Matter, Hazlitt, and more. Her first book, All the Lives I Want is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing in early 2017. Alana lives in Brooklyn and is interested in books, glitter, cats, champagne, and money.